It’s been over a year and honestly I’m wondering why I didn’t do this earlier. No disrespect to the hopeless romantics, (and my future husband if you’re reading this) but this single life feels damn good. I have found so much peace in being able to do things alone. By no means am I saying that when one is in a relationship you can’t, but constantly having to take someone into consideration can be annoying. I enjoy being able to make reservations at a restaurant and not worry if someone else likes it. Solo missions to different cities to explore museums for hours. Ordering a large supreme pizza and eating it in bed while I watch Dr. Pimple Popper. You call it repulsive, I call it art. I love my alone time. I love the fact that I can just go without having to constantly check in. Hell, I was never good at it anyway.
This is going to sound so cliche, but self love is so important. I have really been able to focus on me, what makes me happy and added value to my worth. It’s been such a crazy beautiful process. Of course I have always loved myself, but I truly felt liberated when I could love my flaws as well. I have gained this sense of confidence and pride that cannot be shaken. I came into my own and who I am. I learned what I like, what I do not like and ultimately I believe it has made me a better, well-rounded person.
I remember thinking by now I would have my degree, my career and my husband. I sit here typing this cackling because whew …what is a husband? All seriousness though, I know I had friends who were worried about me. People in complete disbelief, but the truth of the matter is I am so much better. At the end of the day, you can’t rely on other people to ensure your happiness. For some odd reason as a society, we like to believe that our happiness is derived from external factors. Whether it is a person or a materialistic thing. You experience that rush of dopamine, but it isn’t long lasting. I took a step back and continued to develop myself. I focused more on my goals, passions, likes and dislikes. I have been moving so selfishly and I don’t regret it at all. By no means am I anti-relationship, but I won’t deny the value in taking time for yourself. I have to acknowledge the importance of growing independently of another person. This isn’t just for relationships either. This applies for friendships and family as well. I no longer find myself actively seeking out love or acknowledgement from individuals. I know who I am, what I have to offer and what I possess. I find happiness and pure peace in that.
Yeah starting over can suck. People make being single seem like the end of the world, but there is a whole world of opportunities out there. A whole world of experiences that you have not even touched the surface of. So eat the cupcake, buy those expensive shoes, book the flight. Live your life and be you….unapologetically. What is meant for you will find you.
“It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.”