So since Beyoncé dropped her Lemonade video that’s all I’ve heard/ read from 191763932688 different people. Though I did interpret something much different (I don’t care to expand on it because I’m just not a fan) it brought a lot of questions to mind. Usually I don’t post blogs seeking comments or feedback, but I’m hoping to receive that today. When I begin to speak on the double standards don’t think that I’m wanting the same for myself, I’m just curious.
Often I have been told men can do things off the radar and it is okay because “they are a man.” From cheating, to just sleeping with a million people while they’re single (I am not speaking for all men, stay with me here). So many times I’ve heard “well that’s just how the world works.” Even after they get it together, get into a serious relationship, marry and have children there are still things that society lets skate for them but not for women. Why is that? Again, I don’t ask because I’m seeking equality but seeking a better understanding. Today on the radio headed to work this morning the host said:
“All I’m saying is if your man messes up and you don’t take him back that shows you are weak.”
How is that so? How come the man who fell to temptation is not portrayed as the weak one?
As a woman there are so many things we are told we can’t do. I decided to compile a list of the double standards I notice reoccurring:
1. Women are expected to forgive and accept cheating over and over.
2. Society frowns upon women who chase their dreams rather than aspiring to be a wife and mother…..only.
3. When a woman has a child even if she goes out once a month she will be deemed a bad mother. No one says anything about numerous boys night outs on the other hand.
4. If a woman cheats, it has to be emotional there’s no way that she’s doing it “just because.” As oppose to men, it’s never emotional (which I believe is a lie).
5. & lastly, if a woman cheats in her relationship there’s no second chances for her (Heck I’ve seen women lose a relationship for having lunch with a co worker that she wasn’t even interested in).
I reiterate, I’m not posting this for women empowerment or the fight for equality; I’m writing this seeking answers. & I know not all men are like this so don’t take this as an attack. I’m solely going off of personal experiences and the common experiences that many women have spoke of.
Women have not been treated nicely by the society. This is a result from centuries old idea by Men to keep women enslaved so that the Men can have all the freedom they need. This is wrong and this idea started from a weak,I’m undisciplined, and insecure Men. Real Men do exist and as a man I am trying to increase the number of Real Men in our society. You can also spread the idea
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Thank you for your feedback. I’m absolutely positive there are real genuine men out there. Just seems like society holds women more accountable.
Here’s what I think. There are more women in the world than men and FAR more good women in the world than there are decent men. (Don’t debate me. This is fact lol) So with everyone knowing that, I feel like women have to accept a man wanting to be with them because at least we are “wanted by somebody.” Girl, I heard with my own ears a 33 year old woman telling a 27y/o woman to stay with her cheating man of a couple months because all men cheat, and he treats her good otherwise. (And that is debatable) Now, I don’t know if that’s the key to being in a relationship but I thought that was horrible advice. But people think like that! That’s why men often take women for granted because they know there’s going to be a good woman around the corner waiting to give them the world and women want to hold on to their man because she FINALLY found a man who lets her post pictures on Instagram and change her Facebook status! Cause he *eventually* comes home to her. Personally I think CTG was being sarcastic when he said women are stronger if they forgive their man for cheating. And even if he wasn’t, he’s dead ass wrong. It’s EASIER to stay with a man after he cheats. It’s far worse and hard and humiliating to leave your man. To expose that your home wasn’t as happy as you portrayed. To have people wonder why you “can’t keep a man” It’s easier to try and hold on to that. I also believe there are good men out there but they are few and far between. Or ugly. lmao.
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Why do you think it’s humiliating to leave your man if he was doing dirt? Just wondering.
Because of some of the reasons I stated. I’m exposing the fact that my home isn’t as happy as I portrayed, what did I do or didn’t do to “make” him cheat? Being cheated on can be embarrassing. Even when we leave, some people think we are weak for leaving. It’s just an all around messed up situation, so I imagine that’s why it’s just easier to stay.
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I understand what you’re saying. I just feel like across the board women are judged and held accountable way more than men. Women are damned if they do, damned if they don’t. Cause I know plenty of people who call the woman who stays weak. Staying in my opinion would still be humiliating, but again…that’s my opinion. I completely understand where you’re coming from though. I think that’s why I don’t even post my relationship or the moves I make as much because people are so quick to try to throw it in your face if all hell breaks loose.
To be very honest, it’s why I wrote about my breakup on my blog. I was so concerned with how people saw me because he left me for another woman. I wanted to share my side of the story, when it’s actually nobody’s business. And as far as double standards go.. I’ve come to a place where I just accept them. It’s frustrating. I can either live in an ideal world or the real world.
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Yeah. I have no issue with the double standards simply because I have no desire to sleep with a million people for the hell of it or have a main dude and a guy on the side. I was just curious. I always get a “that’s just the way it is,” instead of a logical answer so I posted this in hopes of getting answers. Especially when it comes to being an ambitious woman. I’ve had so many people ask me do I fear of being alone because of the career that I’m seeking, but I just don’t see myself expecting a man to take care of me for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t feel secure being a stay at home mom with no career. Peoples feelings change sometimes. I couldn’t imagine my husband coming home and telling me “you gotta go, I fell in love with someone else” knowing that all the money in my account is actually his. That’s scary.