Ever since I lost you, I feel like I lost a part of me. I lost part of my identity, something that I represented. The way you made me feel was incredible. There’s no way I could ever forget it. Heart thumping, adrenaline pumping….the rush. To come in contact and fall in love over and over again like the very first time. You taught me something new everyday , but more importantly; you taught me about myself. You taught me that no matter the circumstances I could do anything. The sky was the limit. That there were actually people who believed in me.
Bottom of the 7th, 2 outs, down by one, runners on second and third with a 3-2 count.
“This isn’t pressure, this is opportunity. Pressure is when you can’t feed your family.” -Albert Ramirez
Sweaty palms, watching her hip for the release. Inside…it’s in-side. Hips to hands….*crack* base hit right down third base line. Runner on third scores, runner on second scores. Lethal Weapon wins.
Softball. Baby girl I miss you.
All the endless practices, conditioning, 6 am lifts. Coming to the field with the lines drawn, warming up watching the stands fill up. Going up to bat hearing your walk up song. Your mom telling you to get serious because you couldn’t help but to smile singing the Jonas Brothers. Or how about the the loud chants after your teammate just burned the center fielder? ‘ATTA BABY! No, let’s take it back to the first week of strengthening & conditioning freshman year of college. Trying to find your classes while waddling like a duck cause you might have skipped out on a little of the conditioning section in your summer manual. Now your legs feel like they are just about to fall off. Softball, where you wear battle scars in honor & compare strawberries that you keep reopening because it hasn’t had a chance to heal. Where the logo on the front of your shirt will always mean more than the one on the back. Where it was a struggle to apply mascara, but the eye black? Always on point.
It’s crazy how you made me feel, how you came into my life completely changed my world for the better; but just left me in the end.
As you can see I’m not over it, probably won’t ever be; but I appreciate everything you have done. You have brought me so many life long friendships that I will cherish forever, just as I will cherish you. I hope that you will continue to change others lives just as you changed mine, but remind them not to take it for granted. Cause as one chapter ends another begins, and I will always be grateful for the chapter I shared with you.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss you, but baby I do.